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How Effectively Communicating Can Help Ease the Stress During Divorce

Posted on June 1st, 2022

At the Harris Family Law Group, our Los Angeles family law attorney knows that deciding to dissolve a marriage is one of the most stress-inducing decisions spouses make in their lives.

Unfortunately, the emotional trauma is often worsened when communication between the couple breaks down.

The good news is, there are ways to communicate effectively during a divorce that can ease the stress both parties may feel when interacting with one another.

Here are a few ways to help open the lines of communication, so both parties can keep their sanity during an admittedly challenging time.

Open Communication is Key for Everyone Involved in the Divorce Process

When divorcing couples cut themselves off from the world, the stress of going through the proceedings alone can be too much for anyone to bear.

Whether you have recently decided to get divorced, and have just officially parted ways, or if you have filed for divorce — or have been served with a divorce complaint/petition — opening the lines of communication between everyone involved is key to a speedy legal process.

Divorce attorneys, counselors, family members, and friends should all be on the same page about your intentions to end your marriage amicably. This will allow you and your spouse to control the narrative.

This approach will also help ease the stress of divorce by protecting each spouse’s reputation, conserving energy, and resources, and keeping the divorce process productively moving forward.

How to Communicate Effectively During a California Divorce

It is increasingly difficult to communicate effectively in a high-stress situation.

If you find yourself falling into an argumentative state during conversations with your spouse, take a breath and a break by asking to resume talks once you can clear your head.

Consider a few things before starting or resuming a conversation with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, so you can maintain control and pursue solutions.

They include:

  • Consciously monitor your tone of voice.

What you say is just as important as how you say it.

Be mindful of how you say things, so your spouse does not infer your remarks as accusatory, condescending, or attacking.

Certainly, both spouses know how to set the other one off using just their tone. Avoiding that simple mistake can help keep conversations on track.

  • Avoid communicating via text or email.

While divorcing spouses are always interested in having the other’s words in writing, texts and emails are subject to the reader’s interpretation. You or your spouse may misconstrue the tone and content simply through its interpretation, which can change based on their mood or even how their day is going.

If you must text or email, use these communications for facts, like when/where/what time you are meeting — not rants. Arguing via texts or emails consumes a lot of energy, time, and emotions.

They can also easily be printed out and brought to court so that a judge can see exactly what you said, which will — without a doubt — begin forming his or her bias against you.

  • Avoid social media during a divorce.

Our skilled divorce attorneys in Los Angeles, California know that social media is a big part of nearly everyone’s lives. However, we also know that Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media platforms are very public forums.

Divorce, infidelity, finances, child custody, and support issues are very private matters, and the only way to keep them that way is to avoid posting about them on social media platforms or messaging apps.

If There is No Other Reason to Communicate Clearly, Do It For the Kids

When parents get divorced, the children remain both literally and figuratively in the middle of the proceedings. There is no way around it.

Communication is key to determining the children’s continuing needs, transportation requirements, school-related functions, and extracurricular activities, so it is best to keep talks open and effective.

One of the many positive effects of having good communication skills is that your kids will see and hear you both putting their needs first, instead of fighting over them, your finances, or who gets what when the divorce is finalized.

Our California family law attorney knows that sometimes keeping your cool during a divorce is much easier said than done. But it is important.

If you need someone to talk to — or vent your divorce frustrations to — consider partnering with a counselor or therapist who can provide more than a professional and private atmosphere to have these conversations, but who can provide the expert advice you need to get through your divorce using self-care to confidently move forward.

You can also talk to your divorce attorney about the next steps in your divorce, and how to effectively achieve them, so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel getting brighter.

We can help.

Contact Our Experienced Divorce Attorneys in Los Angles, California Today

If you have questions about divorce, child custody, or other family law matters, we can help you provide answers during a free consultation by calling (310) 745-8644.

At the Harris Family Group, our Los Angeles County divorce attorneys collaborate with clients using flat fees, instead of billable hours, which allows you to plan your expenditures upfront, so you can have confidence in your financial future.